There are so many reasons backed by science that try to explain why people fail at losing weight. But what if it’s more than that? I’m going to share with you what I’ve learned about how to lose weight after many failed attempts…and it’s not what you think.
To lose weight after many failed attempts, a person needs to look at all areas of their life to evaluate how much stress they have, how much joy they have, and what are their thoughts and beliefs about weight loss. It will be very difficult to lose weight if these things are not in order.
I struggled with my weight as a child, teenager and adult. I learned the secrets of why I kept failing at losing weight throughout my whole life and it has changed everything for me. I’m going to share those secrets with you.
Why do you fail at losing weight?
If you’ve tried diet after diet and you either don’t lose weight at all, gain weight or lose it and then gain it back, you’re not alone. I have tried so many diets.
Sometimes I wouldn’t lose at all. Sometimes I actually gained weight despite the fact that I was following the program strictly. And sometimes I would lose it and gain it right back.
Why can’t you lose weight no matter what you do?
Here are a few things to look at if you can’t lose weight no matter what you do that will reveal why you fail at losing weight:
What are your thoughts and beliefs about weight loss?
We are programmed through our families and experiences throughout life to have certain beliefs. What you were told by your parents or what you saw happening as a child becomes the absolute truth for you. It becomes a belief that you hold onto for life…unless you change it.
Think back through your life about your experiences with weight loss.
Did anyone you knew struggle with their weight?
What things were you taught about weight loss?
Did you struggle with your weight?
Whatever you believe to be true is what will be your reality. So if you have a belief that it’s hard to lose weight, that will be your experience.
Change those negative beliefs about weight loss into positive ones by using daily affirmations.
In my Free Your Fat workbook, I walk you through getting to the root of these beliefs and changing them to allow weight loss. It’s a 21 day journal with activities and prompts for losing weight that stays off for good.
How happy are you with the diet and exercise program you’re following?
Your diet and exercise routine is HUGE, but not in the way you think. Not because of what you’re eating and calories in calories out or how many calories you’re burning with exercise.
It’s so important because of your happiness.
How many diets have you been on that you were absolutely starving? Or hated the foods you were eating?
The only diets I’ve ever had success on were ones where I felt completely happy with what I was eating and I was never hungry.
Following a diet or exercise program that makes every day feel like a struggle can never end well. You have to find something that you actually look forward to.
A diet or exercise you look forward to might sound crazy, right? I mean most diets make you feel so deprived and you can’t wait for a cheat day so you can eat that piece of chocolate that you’ve been craving and dreaming about. And you feel like that’s way it has to be…
But that’s not true.
We are all so different. The diet that your friend loses weight on is not necessarily the diet you’ll lose weight on.
If she’s happy eating fatty food all day and no carbs, then keto or low carb will work for her. But maybe you love bread and it’s miserable for you to go without it. You’re going to struggle mentally and physically with a low carb diet.
Sometimes there isn’t a perfect diet out there for you and you have to get creative and make your own. I did this and the way the weight has been coming off of my body is amazing. I didn’t even know it could be so easy.
Here’s my example so you understand what I mean:
I follow this shake program because it’s easy for me. I love the shakes and they satisfy my sweet tooth so I’m not craving sugary foods all day. I don’t have a lot of time to prepare breakfast and lunch for myself and I’m not a meal prepper. So being able to just grab a shake makes my life so simple when I’m working.
The second part of my diet is this whole food plant based program. I love this because the recipes are delicious and easy to make plus super healthy. I follow this for my snacks and dinner.
By combining these two diets to make my own, I’ve lost 25 pounds in 2 months and still going. I had to find what works for me and my cravings. I don’t like to feel hungry. So I needed something that I never feel like I’m starving.
And then exercise…do you ever enjoy the exercise you do or is it just something you have to do?
How can you stick to an exercise program if it’s a struggle every day?
You have to find some things you enjoy doing that you’ll look forward to instead of dreading. Keep that negativity out of your life and do what you love.
I love lifting weights and kickboxing. So I do those things for my exercise. Another fun exercise I like to add in is dance games on my X Box.
If you need some ideas of fun exercises, I have a post here with a bunch.
So if you’re having no weight loss after 3 weeks of exercise, evaluate what you’re doing for your diet and exercise and whether you are really enjoying them.
If not, change it up. It’s okay to change if something isn’t working for you. You don’t have to stick with it because someone else had success with it.
How much stress do you have in your life?
Do you feel calm most of the time or are you worrying about things all the time? Money troubles, health issues, relationship problems, kids, problems at work, and so many other things can cause people to feel tension all the time.
Notice in your body if you’re feeling tension anywhere. Some places to pay attention to are your neck, shoulders, head, and jaw.
I was so stressed at one point of my life that I was clenching my teeth all day every day which resulted in me barely being able to open my mouth.
Now you might think that stress can’t possibly be causing you to fail at weight loss, but our thoughts and feelings affect our ability to lose weight in a huge way.
Think about when you’re stressed. What thoughts go through your head? It’s all negative stuff. Negative emotions build up in our bodies and can cause us to hold onto fat and even in some cases become aches and pains.
Add some stress relief activities into your life. Take a bath. Get a massage. Read a book. Hit a punching bag. Meditate. Do something to relieve stress and your weight will begin to drop.
How much happiness do you have in your life?
When was the last time you did something fun?
How often do you do things you really enjoy?
If you’re like most people, you probably spend your day doing things you’re not crazy about. You go to work to a job that pays the bills, but doesn’t really light you up, you come home and make dinner, maybe watch a little tv and then go to bed. Where’s the joy?
That’s not even to mention if you’re fitting exercise in there and you absolutely hate exercising.
How can you possibly lose weight if you’re whole life is hum-drum with no joy and happiness?
You may not even be aware of how much happiness is missing from your life because you’re just running on this auto-program every day.
Make a commitment to yourself to add at least one fun thing into your day…something you really enjoy. Even if it’s only for a few minutes, it will make a huge difference in moving the negative energy out of your body.
As you realize how much this changes things for you, you’ll want to add more and more fun things into your life and you’ll be happier, healthier and slimmer.
Is it harder to lose weight the second time?
If you’ve failed at diets many times, you may have experienced a time when you followed a particular diet and actually lost some weight and fell off the bandwagon. When you tried the same diet a second time, you didn’t lose at all.
It’s harder to lose weight the second time on the same diet because your needs change. What was a perfect diet for you before may not be true now. Your tastes and cravings change. Your time and desire to prepare meals changes. Your thoughts and feelings change. Your metabolism changes. Your health changes.
This is why it is so important to listen to your body and yourself and choose a diet that makes you feel happy and satisfied.
Are you getting that happiness is the key to weight loss success?
Is it harder to lose weight after 30?
It’s true your body will change throughout your life, but the reason it’s harder to lose weight after 30 is because you aren’t listening to what your body wants and needs.
Life becomes more and more serious as you age. You have a high stress job, you don’t do things you enjoy anymore, you have a family to care for, you start worrying about retirement and getting older. All of these things begin to weigh on you and your body begins to reflect it.
If you’re pushing through on diet and exercise you don’t love or allowing stress and negativity to build up in your life, you will struggle to lose weight.
It’s not harder to lose weight after 30 because of your age, but because your life has changed into a stressful and unhappy environment.
Happiness is the key to not failing at weight loss.
If you want to lose weight after many failed attempts, you have to work on your happiness. It is the most important thing not only for weight loss, but for life.
You deserve to be happy.
You deserve to be healthy and slim.
You deserve to love yourself.
If you want to turn your weight loss struggles around and finally lose the weight for good and actually enjoy the process, grab the Free Your Fat workbook. 21 days will change your life.
Cassie is a certified health and nutrition life coach helping thousands of women change their lives.