There was a time I was feeling ashamed to go out because of the extra weight I’d put on and I figured out how to overcome it so I wanted to write a post to help you stop being embarrassed to leave the house because of weight gain and fear of judgement. I increased my body confidence and stopped caring what others think of my weight.
How do you stop being embarrassed after weight gain? The way you feel about your weight is determined by how you think about it within yourself and that gets reflected back to you in other people. Change the way you see yourself in order to stop caring what others think of you and worrying that they’ll judge you for your weight.
Now I know you’re probably thinking if it was that easy to just change your mindset you would have already done it. There are a few easy things you can do that will trick your mind into working for you instead of against you. The really cool thing about these techniques is that they can also help you lose weight and live a happy fulfilled life.
The Best Ways To Stop Being Embarrassed After Weight Gain
The first thing to understand is what you believe about yourself is being reflected back to you. You can test this. Take a minute to really look inside yourself and see what beliefs you have about your weight.
When you think about your weight, what thoughts and feelings come up? If you feel like you’re fat and tell yourself that over and over, that’s how you will see yourself and how other people will see you.
Create A Healthy Mindset To Stop Feeling Embarrassed After Gaining Weight
So what you really have to do is change those beliefs within yourself. As you change what you think and feel about yourself, you’ll change yourself from the inside out. You’ll start to become a more confident version of yourself.
The beliefs you have about yourself are based on experiences you’ve had in your life. If you have a belief that it’s hard to lose weight, I bet you can look back into the past and find at least one time that someone told you that or you saw an example of that. A lot of times you will have had this demonstrated to you many times over and over.
As you continue to believe that, life will continue to reflect that to you. If you believe that people will judge you because of your weight life will continue to show you that. You will keep attracting that into your experience until you change what you believe about your weight.
Now I’m sure you’re thinking “Great! But how do I change my beliefs?” It’s actually easier than you think.
How To Change Your Beliefs To Stop Being Embarrassed About Weight Gain
1. First you have to think about what you think and feel about your weight and other people’s judgements. What are the thoughts and feelings you are having and replaying in your mind over and over?
2. Next, what experiences from the past have given you the belief that you’ll be judged for your weight when you’re out in public?
When you look at those experiences from the past, realize that those were reflections of what the people involved were thinking and feeling and you had to buy into those beliefs on some level for them to come into your reality.
Here’s an example, if you are wearing a pink dress and someone comes up to you and says “That is an ugly green dress.”, you wouldn’t care because you don’t believe that you’re wearing a green dress.
But if someone comes up to you and says “That’s an ugly pink dress.”, you’ll instantly feel bad (most likely) because you do believe you’re wearing a pink dress.
3. Now be okay with the fact that you’ve had that experience in the past and realize that it was a belief that you bought into and that was running on autopilot in your mind. And the past is the past. It’s never happening again unless you keep replaying it in your mind. The only thing keeping the past alive is your thoughts and feelings.
4. Forgive whoever or whatever you feel is responsible for the belief you have. Forgiveness is one of the most important parts of this process. You may have to forgive a family member, friend, or even yourself.
Don’t forgive because the other person deserves it. Forgive because you deserve it. You deserve that peace of mind.
Ho’oponopono is a great way to forgive. It’s a Hawaiian method for forgiving where you say these phrases as you focus on what or who you want to forgive. The phrases are: I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.
5. Decide that you no longer want to be that person who believes that old belief. Who do you want to be moving forward?
6. Now what would that look like? If you want to be more confident so you feel comfortable leaving the house and not worrying about what people will think of your weight, how would that person act? What would that person do on a daily basis? What qualities would that person have?
7. What is one thing you can do every day to move toward being that person? Even changing one small thing in the direction of the person you prefer to be can make a huge impact in so many areas of your life.
If you decide that a confident you would practice self-care every day, then do that. That could look like a lot of things, but a few would be doing a workout that feels good to you (not one you hate or feel like you have to do), taking a bubble bath, or meditating.
After you’ve adjusted to this new change, you may feel inclined to add another action that will move you in the direction of who you really want to be. Over time, you’re going to just become that person who feels confident and at ease in public or any situation.
The more you are tapped into who you really are, other people will respond to you based on that. As you feel more confident and less worried about judgement, people will see you as confident and not see any reason to judge you.
Things You Can Do To Have More Body Confidence
Clear out the old clothes that you’re just sick of wearing and ones that are your “goal” clothes.
I used to punish myself and not allow myself any new clothes because I thought I should be able to fit into those clothes that I used to fit in 10 years ago. I was wearing the same old clothes all the time, thinking that I would soon fit into the ones in my closet that were 3 sizes too small.
I’ve got to tell you, clearing out that stuff was like lifting a thousand pounds off my shoulders. I was putting so much pressure on myself and making myself feel bad for not being the size I expected I should be that it was actually sabotaging my happiness and my weight loss.
I treated myself to some really cute new clothes. My sister owns an online plus size boutique with the cutest stuff at great prices. So I was able to fill my closet without spending a fortune. By getting new clothes that fit me, that were my style and made me feel good, I immediately felt more comfortable going out of the house and worried way less about other people’s judgement.
So stop holding on to those old clothes that don’t fit. Are you really going to want to wear those old things if you reach your goal size anyway? You’ll probably be dying to go out and get some new fabulous clothes that are trendy and in fashion, not wear your old stuff from 10 years ago.
Use positive affirmations to increase your self-esteem and self-worth.
Have you ever tried to use positive affirmations and just found yourself not believing a word of it? Me too!
The way to make positive affirmations work for you is to use ones that you believe. Start small and work your way into believing the big things. If you want some really awesome positive affirmations to boost self esteem and confidence, I have some for you here!
Another way to do affirmations is instead of saying I am ______. You can say I am committed to ______. That makes it a whole lot more believable.
For instance, “I am a millionaire” might sound completely unreasonable and impossible. But if you say “I am committed to being a millionaire”, it’s completely different and totally believable.
What to do if someone is body shaming you…
Being judged for your weight by someone can make you feel hurt and want to react. The important thing to remember is that many times other people’s judgements are actually based on what’s inside of them and the way they see the world and really have nothing to do with you (unless you’re believing negative things about yourself and it’s being reflected back to you like I discussed above).
I grew up in a household where I was constantly being judged for my weight as well as just about everything. As I observe my mom now, I see how often she judges other people on TV, in public, and on social media. But the other thing I also see is how judgmental she is toward herself.
If a person loves themself, they will not even feel inclined to shame someone else for their weight or any other reason. So if someone says something that makes you feel less than perfect, they are just projecting their own feelings about them out into the world.
Until you’ve conditioned yourself to understand this, it will sting if someone makes a rude comment to you or gives you a look that makes you feel judged.
You have to take the time to feel into those emotions and think through this process.
If someone is body shaming you because of your weight, here are some journal prompts to get over it:
- What does it make you feel?
- Why do you feel that way?
- Do you believe that’s true?
- If so, why?
- Was that experience caused by your feelings about yourself being reflected back to you?
- Was that experience caused by the other person’s lack of self-love?
- What is really true? (This is a great place to use those positive affirmations!)
- Forgive them. You don’t have to forgive them to their face. Forgive them within yourself.
You have to allow yourself to feel how you feel, but also to understand why you feel that way and be able to move forward. I know if you dedicate yourself to this process it will change your self-confidence and so much more.
Most importantly, you should never feel embarrassed or ashamed because of weight gain or any other so-called imperfections with your body. You are a unique individual who has had experiences that no one else has had. Your body reflects those experiences. And those experiences make you who you are today and who you’ll become in the future.
YOUR JEANS SIZE DOES NOT DETERMINE YOUR WORTH.